that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm like, not good at living.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
