Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
