i just had sex bonerless
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
