Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
