Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
