Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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