Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
