you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
