My Higher Power is John Stamos
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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