she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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