We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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