My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize