I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just pee around me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
