You're completely useless in the revolution.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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