im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
