.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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