Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
