Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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