For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
