He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The air was thick with penises
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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