Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
