The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
two words...techno handjob
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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