Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
