Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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