You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
