I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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