I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
