Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
