Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my being single is dangerous.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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