So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bang-toberfest begins!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
