I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
