Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
