We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
