the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
