The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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