There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
