my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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