...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
