I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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