it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
