dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
NoShamevember. You game?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
