he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
