I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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