youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We need to get me chipped asap
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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