She's JV to your varsity
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize