Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We need to get me chipped asap
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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