Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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