I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
