my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
What a dumb baby whore.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
