Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
