he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
