ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
where am i from again
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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