So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
